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Something frustrating

Sunday, 24.01.2016

Today is the anniversary of our marriage - 15 years. And we were living together for 10 years before that so it will make it 25 years of being together with my wife. Long time! Also many things happen - yesterday I invited my wife to my studio and showed her my last stuff and of course she was totally critical about it. I knew it. Somehow. I don't really know how... I sort of had that feeling and maybe this was why I wanted her to come. I wanted to get that improvement becoause I was not totally certain about what I was doing. When she said it was crap I said I was going to destroy it an she said she had heard that before. Of course she had - years ago I threw a pile of my drawings away just because of that. Or actually not just because of that but because of we had some stuped argument. (Shit, I have had too much wine!) But what I think is that all that criticism is super important for me. It is very healthy to hear somebodies opinion about what I am doing to understand what I am really doing. For example - now I am not at all certain about my new stuff anymore. I shoudl find another bloody approach to what I want to say. And the more I think of it the more I feel that I don't know what the approach should be to say what I really want to say. I feel what it is that I want to express but I don't know how. That's really frustrating but maybe this is the only way to move ahead...